introspection of a female's mind.

I love being a woman and have known many other women who have enhanced my life in different ways, simply by staying true to themselves. It bothers me to the point of disbelief when the topic of comparison or judgement comes up. Each woman who was put on this earth has something unique to offer, and I have not yet understood why the majority of our society cannot accept this fact.

I have been taught the concept that "judging others" is wrong. In reality, all that our "Christian founded" nation has ever done is everything but stay true to this principal. Once in a while I find myself picking apart the reasons as to why a person is the way that he or she is. This is wrong. I have continually been reminded that the old cliche is true, you can never judge a book by its cover, unless you want to be unhappy for the rest of your life.

The most put-together woman may have the most disruptive family life; while the seemingly simple person is anything but simple. In fact, he or she may be a dynamic, talented individual who does a lot of amazing things in their life. I could go on, but I think you catch my drift here.

At times I believed I was beyond the "comparison trap", that only the most insecure and unsatisfied women were susceptible of such shallowness. I was wrong. I flip through magazines everyday and sometimes find myself wondering "Why can't I look like her?" This is not something I am typically aware of, but do realize I am vulnerable to feeling this way. Out in public I may witness happy, affectionate couples canoodling with each other; my mind will be subconsciously dripping with jealousy. Not necessarily am I jealous of the relationship itself, but for what she has, that I do not. I somehow feel "less" of a person. Foolish, I know.

Working in a retail environment certainly does not help in the least when trying to defeat my low self-esteem. Whether one wants to admit it or not, straight women will check out other women. This is called the "body-scan". Females will covertly scan anothers frame, adding yet another judgement or criticism to their already flawed self-identity.

Another large point to this whole self-esteem issue is that everyone, not only women, want to feel belonged. Comparison relates to the idea of belonging - being liked, feeling included. Human beings are social creatures which are designed to "belong". Most people, when lonely, will go to extremes to avoid feeling not belonged. When something about what I have done seems as if it is not good enough, it compromises my security and I ultimately resort back to viewing myself as ugly, fake, or self-centered.

To wrap this topic up, I will say that the act of comparison instills in us a lot of negative traits. Judgement of others will only hide yourself even more, instead of putting you in the spotlight. It also harbors resentment towards others and yourself. It provides another easy excuse to hate who you are or are not. And finally, living your life in a cage where comparison is constantly bringing you down can and will kill you. It will suck life from your days. Psychological issues that have been bottled up for long periods of time have been known to be the slow agents of death. Conditioning yourself to turn your perceived weaknesses into strengths are one of the best things you can do for yourself and those you care about. To put it simply, blahblahblah... Don't be a baby.

a.